Ideology and Religion Shit List
(close-to-complete) author unknown

•Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not. •Agnostic #2: Did someone shit? •Agnostic #3: What is this shit? •Atheism: What shit? •Atheism #2: I can't believe this shit! •Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. •Capitalism: That's MY shit. •Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it. •Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work. •Chauvinism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us... •Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray! •Christian Science #2: Shit happening is all in your mind. •Church of SubGenius: BoB shits. •Commercialism: Let's package this shit. •Communism: It's everybody's shit. •Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens." •Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another. •Creationism: God made all shit. •Darwinism: This shit was once food. •Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it. •Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS. •Existentialism #2: What is shit, anyway? •Feminism: Men are shit. •Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!) •Fundamentalism #2: If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay. •Fundamentalism #3: Shit must be born again. •Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama. •Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening! •Hinduism: This shit has happened before. •Idolism: Let's bronze this shit. •Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden. •Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah. •Islam #2: If shit happens, kill the person responsible. •Islam #3: If shit happens, blame Israel. •Jehovah's Witnesses: 'Knock,' 'Knock' Shit happens. •Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our shit? •Jehovah's Witnesses #3: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening. •Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us? •Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it. •Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it. •Moonies: Only really happy shit happens. •Mormonism: God sent us this shit. •Mormonism #2: This shit is going to happen again. •Nihilism: No shit. •Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time. •Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen. •Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else. •Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit. •Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit! •Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS. •Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157. •Secular Humanism: Shit evolves. •Seventh Day Adventism: No shit shall happen on Saturday. •Stoicism: This shit is good for me. •Taoism: Shit happens. •Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another. •Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit. •Utopianism: This shit does not stink. •Wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen. •Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not. •Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of shit happening? •Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half of the time.

Click here to return to our Articles: