Things To Do In An Elevator
contributed by Miz Moxie
- When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
- Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
- Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
- Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
- Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
- Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
- Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
- Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment
- Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
- Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
- Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
- Ask, "Did you feel that?"
- Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
- When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
- Swat at flies that don't exist.
- Tell people that you can see their aura.
- Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
- Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
- Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
- Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
- Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
- Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on."
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
Click here to return to The Liberator's Blasphemous Humor: liberator.net.