Things to do During an Interview
contributed by Kristin [MissRojo2@aol.com]
1. While shaking hands get into a heated thumb wrestling match.
2. Repeat everything your interviewer says, keep going until he or she yells at you. Then ask if you got the job.
3. Stick a piece of broccoli between your front teeth, smile a lot.
4. Sometime during the interview, frown and sniff suspiciously, ask the boss if he or she farted.
5. Pick your nose and wipe contents underneath the lip of your interviewers desk.
6. Bring in whoopie cushion, set it off, roll your eyes and look at your interviewer with disgust.
7. In the beginning of the interview pull out a gun and put it on the interviewer’s desk in front of you, then say, "Mind if I rest this here during the interview?"
8. Demand that if hired you want desk plate that reads "Big Kahuna."
9. As you follow your interviewer to his or her office kick out their heels so that they trip and fall on their face, laugh uncontrollably.
10. Show up in your jogging outfit, run in place during the entire interview.
11. Bathroom excuse #1: Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, as you walk out the door make a loud fart noise with your mouth then sigh and say "DAMN!"
12. Bathroom excuse #2: Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, come back with the entire front of your pants wet.
13. Ask for a company Porche.
14. Comment on how much you like your interviewer’s spouse’s picture, then take it and put it in your briefcase.
15. Some time during the interview slip some chicklets in your mouth, then sneeze as loud as you can launching entire contents in your mouth in his or her face, cover your mouth and say, "I sink I loth by theeth."
16. As you reach inside your briefcase pull out a sock puppet, introduce him as "Socko" and harass your interviewer with it.
17. During the interview reach over and grab at your interviewer’s face and say that you’ve "got your nose" while clenching your fist, demand that you get hired or you won’t give back their nose.
18. Chew tabbacco, spit in pencil holder.
19. Announce that you are committing a hostile take over of the company, fire your interviewer.
20. At the end of the interview end it with a three stooges eye jab followed by a smack to the forehead finish it off with a "woo-woo-woo-woooooo....!"
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