Stuff to Ponder
provided by multiple contributors

How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Why are they called apartments, when they are stuck together?

The light went out, but where to?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

Why is the alphabet in that order?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosylabic"?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

[Thanks Dennis,]

Why do we Drive down a Parkway, but we Park in a Driveway?

Why do they call it egg plant if it doesn't have any egg in it?

Why do dogs like to stick their heads out of the window of a moving cars, but not like it when you blow in their faces?

[Thanks Shorty,]

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint, and he has to touch it.

How come SUPERMAN could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

If it was only a 3 hour cruise, why did MRS. HOWELL have so many clothes?

Why is it called a HAMBURGER, when it's made out of BEEF?

Why does SOUR CREAM have an expiration date?

What would a chair look like, if your knees bent the other way?

IF "Con" is the Opposite of "Pro"....then what is the opposite of PROGRESS?

Why is LEMON JUICE mostly artificial ingredients.... but DISH WASHING LIQUID contains real lemons?

How much deeper would the ocean be, if SPONGES didn't grow in it?

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?

Why do we wait until a PIG is dead, to "CURE" it?

Why do we wash BATH TOWELS-aren't we clean when we use them?

Why do we put SUITS in a Garment Bag, and put Garments in a Suitcase?

Why doesn't GLUE stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have an "S" in it?

What do little birdies see, when they get knocked unconscious?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

What's another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

Would a fly that loses its wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?

If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

[Thanks Chris,]

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