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Positive Results in Iraq
Congressman Joe Wilson has assembled numerous facts concerning the positive effects of Coalition Forces in Iraq. Read our newsbrief on the topic. Simply CLICK HERE to read more.
Dutch Threesome Enters Civil Union
The first civil union between three people occured in The Netherlands. CLICK HERE to read more.
Iraqis Turn Out To Vote
There was a considerable amount of debate concerning the will of Iraqis and whether or not they wanted freedom. Despite the long-standing belief of compassion within traditional liberal philosophy, liberals wanted to condemn Iraqi citizens to the will of terrorists. Some liberals believed Iraqis had either no desire for freedom or no intellect to appreciate it. Such racist and elitist beliefs were obviously wrong.
CLICK HERE to read more about this important step toward freedom.
Christian Zealots Manufacture Sex Problem in Texas
Christians zealots have infected yet another community. This time it's in Texas, near Fort Worth. It would seem a community in Burleson have formed a make-shift sex-squad to police over those who would like to add healthy sexual spice to the lives of married couples. To read the whole story, CLICK HERE.
Do Local Laws Inhibit Constitutional Rights?
It appears to be so in Wilmette, Illinois. A Wilmette man used a gun to protect himself and shot an intruder twice. Now this suburban resident of Chicago faces two misdemeanor charges. CLICK HERE for the details in our News Brief section.
A Large Representative Coalition
Coalition forces in Iraq are composed of representatives from thirty-four countries. It appears that thirty-three other countries support our decision to enter Iraq. To read our news brief that contains detailed information, CLICK HERE.
Tsunami Related Donations
The Liberator has a done some investigating and found an organization worth mentioning. View our News Briefs section to find out more about Operation USA.
Michael Moore or Less
Fahrenheit 9/11 is certainly nothing on the order of his first two films, Roger & Me and Bowling for Columbine. It is riddled with conflicting arguments, pointless monologues, and non-existent journalistic integrity. Yet, it's entertaining. CLICK HERE and CLICK HERE to read two critical reviews of the film that point out its many weaknesses.
Catholic Church Sexual Abuse Coverup
News agencies have hard evidence of The Catholic Church's unwillingness to assist authorities concerning cases of sexual abuse. Some say that this piece of evidence from 1962 points to a prescription for widespread coverup. CLICK HERE for the details.
John Kerry, Vietnam
The Vietnamese hail Kerry as a contributing member to their victory. A photo of Kerry rests in a Vietnamese museum under a section labeled as 'American protestors.' To read our news brief that contains detailed information, CLICK HERE.
Iraq's Governing Council Signs Interim Constitution
Shiite leader Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani is concerned the Interim Constitution will have no lasting value because of the undemocratic nature of the Governing Council. To read our news brief, CLICK HERE.
John Kerry's Running Mate Absent in Late June
There is a potential list of candidates for vice president that John Kerry must scrutinize. The Liberator will use the process of elimination to winnow the list. CLICK HERE for further information.
Catholic Church Deals with Sexual Abuse
Catholic leaders are coping with the sexual indiscretions of its priests as many cases are being brought to light. CLICK HERE for further information.
Saddam Hussein, Earth's Former Most Wanted
Saddam Hussein was the most wanted man on Earth. The UN's desire for anti-terrorism along with a desire to strip the regime of weapons of mass destruction had mainly American forces enter Iraq, but the situation persisted. Read PBS Frontline's Gunning for Saddam by CLICKING HERE to gain respected insight into the affair.
Gun Rights, Feminism, and Afghanistan
Wendy McElroy's latest article combines feminism, gun rights and Afghanistan! She believes that "[a] gun in the hand of a mother who is protecting her child may be the most humanitarian relief of all." Read the article for yourself at ifeminists.com, called Arm the Afghan Women.
Hunting Bin Laden
PBS' Frontline offers extremely detailed information regarding the most wanted man on Earth, Osama Bin Laden. Find out who he is, what he wants, and the evidence of his acts of terrorism which includes the September 11th attack by CLICKING HERE.
Where Do You Stand?
Take a look at this neat questionaire that will help you decide if you are a tree-hugging liberal or a facist right-winger, and any where in beween those extremes. CLICK HERE for the quiz.
DePaul University Scrapes D'Barrel
If you act fast, you can pay hefty college tuition rates and have your son or daughter be taught by a convicted police killer. DePaul University in Illinois may have Willie Lloyd, leader of the Vice Lords, teaching college students. CLICK HERE for the honest to goodness details.
Bush's Conspiracy to Riot
According to a source, Bush may have stacked the deck in his favor to become president. CLICK HERE for further information.
Protect Against Mind Control
Do you ever get the feeling that your thoughts are not as private as you would like them to be? Well...it's not due to your overactive imagination! Your head is being probed by forces beyond your vision.
Worry not faithful readers. We have done some investigating of our own and have found that an Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie is exactly what the good doctor orders for such a pesky problem. They are relatively inexpensive and go with all sorts of outfits, including wacky disguises.
If you would like to purchase your very own AFDB, see the good people of Zapato Productions -- who have been "serving the paranoid since 1997" -- by CLICKING HERE.
Mancow Battles for Free Speech
A Chicago radio personality goes toe to toe with Cicero, IL Town President Betty Loren-Maltese over issues of free speech. Read the report, CLICK HERE.
Affordable Birth Control
In an attempt to address growing concerns with over-population, sex researchers have developed a revolutionary and new product. Jack B. Pokin of the Condom Research Experimentation and Manufacturing Institute (CREAM Institute) said, "Those who have been hit hard in the pocketbooks don't need to get hit hard in their backsides."
Jack isn't off his rocker. He is referring to a new reusable condom. All one has to do is throw the spent condom in with the wash and hang dry, preferably outdoors. We fully endorse this product and hope that every backyard across America will be line-drying this product in support of affordable birth control.
Contact us to acquire your own reusable condoms. CLICK HERE.
The Exorcist's Linda Blair: Picture Tribute
Linda Blair's innocent roll in The Exorcist won her many wholesome film rolls. You may remember her in the following films: Home Alone in Bed, The Priest Who Was Too Friendly, The Devil Made Me Do It, Jesus - What Was I Thinking?, The Crucifix and the Yeast Infection and its spin-off Is that a Crucifix or are You Happy to See Me?
Later she claimed to try and break the typecast by developing various television sitcoms, such as Friends and the Devil, Who Wants to be Possessed? and Two Guys, a Girl and a Devil. Linda claims that the networks have stolen her ideas and warped them to fit their own agendas.
If you would like to view Linda's sexy picture tribute, CLICK HERE.
Fireprone Tire Sale!
Fnord and Fireprone -- absolutely no connection to Ford and Firestone -- are correcting a deadly situation. Fnord is collecting defective Fireprone tires from its line of 'Explosion' Sport Utility Vehicles and is replacing them with a new tire, which is completely free from defect.
Fireprone spokesperson Miss Bee Gotten stated that the new tires no longer suffer from tread separation. Now they implode when taken over 40 mph and encounter the slightest road imperfection. She said the new design makes the environmentalists very happy because the highways will not be litered with tire treads. Instead, the imploded tires will stick to the accident vehicles. When asked why the new tires are still problematic, Miss Bee Gotten pointed a finger at the Highway Safety Board for allowing speed limits in excess of 40 mph.
If you would like to start a campaign to lower the speed limit to 40 mph on our nation's highways to make the 'Explosion' SUVs more safe, which also cures that tiny roll-over problem, CLICK HERE.
An Explosive Day
Frequently, this frontpage is used for humor. However, this time of year is special for Americans and deserves to be recognized.
The festivities happening on The Fourth of July allow us to remember our strengths, history and diversity. As we sit with family, friends and fellow community members on Independence Day, we can reflect on our vast freedoms defined by The Constitution. We can exercise our responsibility to maintain an informed society by engaging in thoughtful conversation.
Most important, let us have a happy, safe and meaningful fourth as we measure the many benefits this great country has to offer.
Third Party Politics
The Liberator does not support any party as of this date; however, we strongly oppose any party that is in favor of limiting personal freedoms, especially first and second amendment rights. We believe more voices in the political system equates to more participation and a healthier democracy.
Therefore, in the interest of furthering an informed citizenry, we suggest to our readers that they inquire about 3rd party candidates to be better prepared for the November Presidential Election. If you would like to research the details surrounding 3rd party issues, CLICK HERE.
The Million Mom Misconception
You may already know that a group of women marched at our Nation's Capitol on May 14th but there is a lot more to the story. Read about the leader of this group and her close tie to the Clintons and their political, gun-grabbing and opportunistic agenda. CLICK HERE.
Jesus Sightings on Easter!
Mary's bastard child is seen all over the globe. He offers his insight and wisdom concerning a myriad of subjects. CLICK HERE to read this exciting news brief.
Government Insider Witnesses Gremlins!
We are proud to unveil the truth about this government conspiracy in this exclusive news brief. CLICK HERE for the details.
I Want To Be...Regis
The next time Regis Philbon gets in a pinch on ABC's Who Wants to Be a Millinaire?, you will not hear Regis say to his guest:
The Liberator's Very Own Beverage!
If you find yourself wondering why people spend so much money on water, you are in a surprisingly small group that marketers do not like.
Water beverage giants claim the water they sell comes from virgin springs, isolated streams, and even melted icebergs. They do a great job convincing us that their water is clean. Of course they attach a pretty penny to those canisters they distribute.
We decided that it's our turn to cash in on this type of product, so we came up with The Liberator's Water. It's more of a service than an actual product. Here are the details:
Get some ordinary tap water. The kind of water that already gets treated by local plants is perfect! Send us two quarters for every gallon of water you want liberated, and we'll liberate it, once the check clears. Our ordained minister will happily bless your containers and their contents.
If you would like to try The Liberator's Water, contact our minister by CLICKING HERE. For a limited time only, we'll bless one extra gallon for every five gallons paid. Now who can compete with God at that rate?
We have set out to assist in the old religion vs. science debate, once we convince our contact of The Huna Heiau Order [codename: Lani] to try an interesting experiment.
Lani insists that certain faith training can allow people to walk on shards of glass and burning wood without suffering injuries. However, we have evidence that suggests faith is an unnecessary component in escaping harm during these activities -- CLICK HERE to view the science of firewalking.
The experiment involves Lani jumping out of an airplane without a parachute. The results of the test will be determined on whether or not he lives. If he lives, he'll have proved that faith is a necessary component for avoiding harm during potentially dangerous situations. If he dies, the human genepool will have benefited from the loss.
We are placing our bets on the side of science. If only we could make some extra bucks by selling Lani's crushed remains to Contadina...
CompuServe's $400 Rebate Offer
Many Internet service providers (ISPs) are offering huge incentive programs. With the purchase of a new computer and a 3-year Internet service commitment, CompuServe and Prodigy are offering a $400 rebate. However, all is not well with these deals. Don't be roped into this tempting offer without CLICKING HERE to learn about the downside.
Take The Paranormal Challenge
Due to the alarming growth of the number of people claiming to have super-abilities, we at The Liberator are offering a $5,000+ award to the first person who can pass our test(s). To read the details of this challenge, CLICK HERE.
Tired of all the Kennedy News?
We certainly are tired of hearing about JFK jr., not to mention his chubby Uncle Ted. Sure it was horrible news but life goes on. The Liberator sailed along and came up with some jokes about the late JFK, jr. They are guaranteed to give you a chuckle. Just CLICK HERE and remember to help us add to the list of jokes!
Things That are Extremely Irritating
We're trying to form a list of things that annoy people. If you can give us any ideas, just send us some by CLICKING HERE. In order to get your creative juices flowing, here are some things we came up with after brainstorming:
The Liberator is supporting all of you "big boned" ladies who choose to remain pleasantly plump by sticking to the new SPAM diet plan, which includes SPAMshakes and SPAMyogurt. However, be on the lookout for:
Big Businesses Are on the Firing Line
We have come to recognize many big name companies for quality, dependability and have given them a considerable amount of respect. Could it be possible that these same companies have not earned it?
Companies such as Coca-Cola, Chubb Insurance, U-Haul and Oasis Manufacturing are targeted. Take a closer look by visiting our Better Business Section.
Richard Kosher, a long time religious activist, was charged with being less than respectable by Catholic leaders during a press conference on Tuesday, November 3rd.
It all started a few years back when the Pope was checked into a hospital in search of cancer. During the examination procedure, radioactive isotopes were used to try and hunt down mutant cells. The event outraged Richard Kosher who has been fighting the Catholic Church on the issue of birth control.
Richard Kosher claims that the Pope's use of an unnatural element should be contrary to the Church's rationale. Richard explained:
"The Catholic Church does not condone the use of birth control based on their reasoning that unnatural protection, like condoms, interferes with God's plan. However, the use of unnatural radioactive isotopes for purposes of health somehow does not interfere with God's plan. I just want to know when the Pope spoke with God to allow for that hypocrisy to manifest itself."
The emotionally charged activist has energized a grassroots campaign against The Pope and The Catholic Church. The organization spearheading this campaign has been called The People Against The Pope or PAP for short.
Catholic leaders are calling PAP nothing more than a smear campaign.
Marriage: Read This Before You Say "I DO"
More than 50% of marriages fail for one reason or another. We know exactly what happens to those marriages; they become divorced. However, no one reports anything meaningful about the other 50%; half of the couples who do manage to stick together.
Is it safe to assume that 50% of those who remain married are unhappy because they decide to stay together "for the children" or cling to marriage due to religious reasons?
If it is, only 25% of marriages are worthwhile! Maybe society as a whole should reconsider pushing the concept of marriage and instead push the tenents of marriage on those who are already married.
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